Its not you…It’s ACTUALLY me.

I have always had a tendency to ruin things with people I really care about. I struggle with my feelings and try and hide them until they get found out then I run away from it, I have just ruined something recently.

I really liked someone and was kind of unsure on what type of relationship we both had and what we meant to each other which was something that was bothering me for sometime. I have a hard time addressing people when It comes to honest conversation and the thought of not knowing where I actually stand with someone is somewhat crushing to me. Lately I haven’t been myself and I’ve been down a lot on my self image thinking it’s everyone else’s fault why I feel the way I do so I instantly cut them out of my life cos I think it’s the most easiest escape route. It’s not.
Getting drunk then taking it out on everyone ISN’T the best option either.
Alcohol is the route of evil and isn’t the answer which I’ve learnt this week.

It takes me a long time to open up to people and when I do It always goes wrong.

I have learned one lesson, and it’s to be honest. Even if he doesn’t speak to me again he has taught me that. 

It’s not you it’s me, a cliche line which is somewhat so relatable right now.

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

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